What year were you born? Do you have anything to share about the event?
I was born in 1952 in Rhode Island just after WWII. When I was seven years old my father was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder from WWII. He was a wonderful dad before this and a scary dad upon his diagnosis. My parents were thirty two years old when I was born and they were very happy!
What was your life like growing up? What dreams and goals did you have for your life when you left High School?
I was part of a large extended Irish-Catholic family in Rhode Island. I am the third generation born in the United States. Dinners every Sunday after Mass were the Norm. I had 42 cousins on my Maternal side and 5 on my Paternal side of which I was the oldest. Living in the Ocean State we went to the ocean beaches often. My happiest times were at the beach and I still travel in summer to swim in the warm Atlantic Beaches. I attended an all-female a Catholic High School which I liked very much. Many of the nuns teaching us were strong feminist women. Vocations in 1970 were limited to Teaching, Nursing, Secretaries and Dental Health. I went to the local Community College for Dental Health. I did have dreams as a female in the early 1970’s. I always knew I wanted to be a mother. I loved children. When I married in 1973 at age 21 we both wanted children when the time was right. Unfortunately that did not happen after 6 years of marriage and it ended very sadly.
My life was nothing like I thought it would be.
What is the one piece of advice would you give your younger self?
To believe in myself and have more confidence.
Name at least one outstanding experience you have had in your life. How did this or these events affect you?
At almost 70 I’ve had many. The top on my list is becoming a mother to my daughter. I feel so blessed to have had her.
When in your life, so far, have you felt most confident and why?
In my 60’s I reached a confidence level. I know who I am and what I am capable of after many decades of struggle. After two marriages and a 24 year relationship I have great courage to honor who I am. I’ve learned to both speak my truth and act upon it.
How have your dreams and goals changed now that you are 40+?
My life was nothing like I thought it would be. Life has its own path despite ourselves. I made the best choices I knew at various points in my journey. I have forgiven myself and others who have let me down. When one doesn’t one risks becoming bitter.
Have your core values changed over time? What do you value now?
My core values have remained the same through 7 decades. Honesty, compassion, freedom and justice are what motivate me and what I would die for.
How do other people to describe you or see you?
Not certain and frankly don’t care. I say that with sincerity. I have not worked in over 24 years. Many might say…. A great sense of humor, intelligent, strong, creative and honest.
What is your super power?
Living with constant pain for 25 years.
Can you share what your favourite part of your body is? Why?
My legs. They carry me everywhere and I never take them for granted. I have good legs for my age.
Do you like being 40+?
Yes, I wish things were different in some parts yet I know gratitude is the key to living in a complicated world
How has your relationship with yourself changed as you have gotten older?
Oh my, it has slowly evolved from a self-sacrificing, co-dependent, lacking confidence, trusting, insecure, heart-broken woman to an educated, confident, strong, self-aware, loving, creative woman. This did not happen overnight. When I was 27 my husband, whom I loved deeply, after 6 years of marriage left me for a ER nurse. I worked while he went to medical school and he left in the middle of a 5 year surgical residency in Pennsylvania. I was devastated as my future was erased. This happened in a matter of weeks and he was gone.
What goals/ambitions/dreams would you like to be working on that you haven’t had the opportunity to start on yet?
I would like to be a hospital chaplain
What advice would you give your future self?
-----Relax and go with the flow---------
“I am happy being 60+”
How do you think women of your generation are perceived?
We were raised with old values of woman’s roles in the 1950’s and mid-60’s. I graduated in 1970 in the midst of a cultural revolution. Women’s consciousness was being raised yet it depended on: education level and location ( urban vs. rural) what we were exposed to. I think we are split into two perceptions. One is traditional roles dependent on marriage/husbands; the other is of women who bravely pushed beyond that, found their voice, returned to school/university, entered the workforce and began to rock-the-boat for change in corporations.
Are there any myths you would like to bust about the over 40s? If so, can you tell us about them?
None really
What advice do you have to offer to those who are approaching mid life or those that are in mid life and perhaps struggling with it.
Discover yourself thru whatever means available to you. Stretch your comfort zone. Embrace your gifts and your dark side….. we all have one. Beware of codependency as it is a trap. See your beauty internally and externally.
Do you have a favourite book to recommend?
Yes, the Path Less Traveled. By Scott Peck. Timeless book.
Thank you Peggy for taking the time to share!
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