What year were you born?
I was born in 1970. My mother told me that she was scared because the doctor and nurses didn’t help her understand what was happening or what to do. Both of my parents were Deaf and it wasn’t common for hospitals to provide a sign language interpreter. It was a lengthy labor. They hadn’t picked out a name for me because, if they had followed tradition, I would have been named Rosemary, and nobody (including me) liked it. It took 3 days before they came up with my name with the help of one of my aunts.
What was your life like growing up? What dreams and goals did you have for your life when you left High School?
I am the oldest of 2 children and was responsible for “interpreting” for my parents. Despite that, my parents did their best to ensure my brother and I had a “normal” upbringing. We went camping often during summertime. We listened to music and I loved to dance, so my dad bought us a portable stereo. I was on the dance team during high school. As a child I wanted to become a nurse when I grew up. During high school I decided I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom with a large family. My senior year of high school I started working for a bank and stayed there for about 10 years. I did pretty well academically.
Name at least one outstanding experience you have had in your life. How did this or these events affect you?
There are many but one of them is that I attended college when all four of my children were in school and earned my sign language interpreting certificate. It proved that I am able to accomplish quite a bit under a lot of stress or pressure.
When in your life, so far, have you felt most confident and why?
I feel I have always been fairly confident in myself. I have strong self-esteem and self-worth. I attribute that to being the responsible child I needed to be.
Was there a time in your life where you felt ‘stuck’, unable to find the energy or strength to move forward or to make a big change? If so, can you share what it was &/or what helped you get past this road block?
I have been having difficulty finding the energy or strength to move forward mainly in the past 5 or so years. I was struggling with my marriage. My husband was going through a “midlife crisis” and was difficult to deal with. I was worried for my kids graduating from college and being able to navigate the world. I’m raising my now teenage grandson because his mom, our daughter, is a drug addict. Our house has been in a remodel for the past 16 years. I turned 50 during COVID. I had breast cancer. I’m currently dealing with pain from osteoporosis of my spine.
My husband had an epiphany and decided to put my needs and wants first. So we decided that we’re going to finish the remodel. We also decided to buy an RV and travel. The doctors were confident that I would beat cancer, and I did! My mindset has always been to keep going because I want to always be here for my family.
What is the one piece of advice would you give your younger self?
I would definitely advise my younger self to take better care of my body and mind, to exercise and to eat a more healthy diet.
How have your dreams and goals changed now that you are 40+
My dreams and goals have not changed. I have accomplished most of what I wanted to accomplish. The only thing left for me to accomplish is travel to places I haven’t been, like Italy.
Have your core values changed over time? What do you value now?
My core values include caring for my family and that has not changed. Other values have changed, however. My beliefs about religion have changed. I am a very empathetic person but I don’t get as emotional as I used to.
Share an indulgence:
I love going to the spa for pedicures and facials. I also love going to the casino. Those are rare treats.
How do other people to describe you or see you?
I’m not entirely sure but I believe others see me as friendly, strong, and dependable. I was told that men find me intimidating!
What is your super power?
I don’t know what my super power is but I’m an excellent driver (in my opinion), and I tend to go with the flow. I do have a little bit of OCD but not to the point that it’s obnoxious. Oh, and most people find it amazing how calm I can be during stressful situations.
Can you share what your favourite part of your body is? Why?
I don’t have a favorite part of my body but I’ve been told I have great hair! I like that I’m fairly well proportioned.
Do you like being 40+?
I don’t mind being over 40. Would I prefer to be 20 something again? Sure! But, as the saying goes, it’s mind over matter and I don’t mind. I never felt old until most recently and that’s only because my physical body is challenging me to the hilt.
Has your relationship with yourself changed as you have gotten older? How?
For the most part, I’ve always liked myself. Some of my views have changed. I used to be a “leave it to God” person and I stopped being like that a number of years ago. I do feel more stressed than I used to mainly because of my recent health crisis, and I worry about being able to afford retirement.
What are you passionate about now?
I’m focused on being able to travel, and spend time with my family.
What goals/ambitions/dreams would you like to be working on that you haven’t had the opportunity to start on yet?
I wish to spend time on art and craft projects.
What advice would you give your future self?
I would give my future self the same advice as my younger self: Exercise and eat a more healthy diet.
Do you have a favourite book to recommend?
I don’t have a favorite book but my favorite author is Dan Brown.
Do you have a favourite quote to share?
There is something I ALWAYS tell my kids and it applies to everyone and every age: Be safe and have fun.
What has this 40 Women Over 40 Project meant to you?
As selfish as it may seem, It has given me the opportunity to do something for myself. It has also given me the opportunity to reassess who I believe I am and know that I am still good with who I am.
