What year were you born? What year were you born? Do you have any details about that day?
1983. I was born in San Francisco.
It was a Friday, I don’t remember them (my parents) telling me any important details, except for a rift with my grandmother about my name. She wasn’t fond of Sapphire, because of this Ashley was chosen as my first name. I never felt in my skin with that name so I started going by my middle name Sapphire at the age of 17.
What was your life like growing up? What dreams and goals did you have for your life when you left High School?
My life was rocky and I was neglected as a child to be honest. Both of my parents, although successful running restaurants and B&B’s were both heavy alcoholics. I spent much time alone or with my sister Jessica playing outside our B&B in Estes Park, CO while my parents worked and drank around the clock. Dance was my outlet, I remember putting on shows for the staff in the kitchen singing to Paula Abdul and showing my best dance moves. I honestly thought I would be a backup dancer for someone famous until I was 12. As I got older life turned into a game of survival…. So my dreams became muddy. I remember talking to a college counselor once and told her I thought I would be great at interior designer. Mind you I grew up in a small town and she thought I should “aim for something a bit more attainable” Ha! I never graduated high school because my mother died from alcohol complications when I was 17, and my father had already passed from the same when I was 10. Due to trauma I found myself aimless from 18-22…I did have a lot of fun mixed with chaos, but it is all a blur now.
When in your life, so far, have you felt most confident and why?
This is the most confident I have been in my life….and it has nothing to do with looks. I feel intelligent, and able to be humble when it comes to learning new skills. I see my worth and know that I can accomplish big things when I am focused. I think this is the first time in my life where my dreams are actually becoming clear. My goals are grounded and simple, they include joy, health and family. Money isn’t my 1st priority any longer. Much of my prior life felt tainted by childhood trauma. I made many mistakes chasing money as I was trying simply to survive.
Name at least one outstanding experience you have had in your life. How did this or these events affect you?
I became a young mother to Rowan at the age of 23 and my daughter saved my life. I can’t imagine what path I would have chosen if she hadn’t grounded me. I was literally a leaf in the wind until I felt the love that a child brings. I chose to be focused on motherhood and turned my life around to be healthy for my girl. Many years later the meeting of the love of my life Jerred changed my path completely, our son Dealan who was VERY unexpected makes my life feel very happy and complete. My soul connection with my children and husband are the most important gifts I have ever been gifted. Finding true love when you have come from a neglected childhood is so healing and eye opening.
Was there a time in your life where you felt ‘stuck’, unable to find the energy or strength to move forward or to make a big change? If so, can you share what it was &/or what helped you get past this road block?
First let me say I have a good relationship with my Wasband (my ex) however he really wanted a small town life. We had moved to Ashland, OR to be closer to his parents after the birth of our daughter. I love the town and my friends from there, however I always wanted more culture, music, people, and opportunity. I chose to dissolve the marriage and move to Portland, it wasn’t easy in fact it took 2 tries before it stuck. What helped me make this choice is because I met the love of my life Jerred and simply couldn’t live without him. We are going on 9 happy years together now.
What is the one piece of advice you would give your younger self?
Invest in Apple… ha just kidding! (sort of)
The voice inside you that says you aren’t enough is lying! Make the big leaps no matter how scary.
How have your dreams and goals changed now that you are 40+?
I just want stability and a comfortable healthy life. My family is #1
I still dream of traveling and pray I can get myself to many of the places I drool over in photos. Portugal, Bali, Greece and Brazil are on the top of my list. I also still dream of owning my own brick and mortar resale store to accompany my online business House of Sapphire that has already been built.
Have your core values changed over time? What do you value now?
Yes I value mental health, and time with my loved ones more than partying and a social life. I do however need music in my everyday and that will never change. My husband and I both share that value so we see live music together monthly.
Share an indulgence:
I love a super sexy candle lit bubble bath with pretty scents. I also love a good fruit tart with custard!
How do other people describe you or see you?
Intelligent, determined, resourceful, influential, empathetic, creative, powerful, kind, thoughtful, helpful, and sometimes wild. I have been called an open book, but I always think this is funny because my first thought when someone says it is “If you only knew the pages you've never seen!”
What is your super power?
Project management, in fact I have considered pivoting my career to this. I think of all the details, and put on great events whether it be a small dinner party or something big like filling 3 trucks up with supplies for Alameda fire survivors, or raising $15,000 dollars for a friend's son battling Lymphoblastic Leukemia.
Can you share what your favourite part of your body is? Why?
My hair I love being a redhead. I always playfully joke that it's a good warning! I also love my back… I love how milky and soft my skin is and it's my favorite place to be touched.
Do you like being 40+?
Yes and no. Aging is weird when you look in the mirror and at times I don't recognize myself. My confidence on a physical level has changed. I feel awkward in this now curvy body. There are wrinkles and soft parts that feel foreign.
My husband hates when I say this, but I also feel less seen in society. Men walk past with no acknowledgment, this is strange when in my 20’s I could turn heads. I still think I'm beautiful, it's just different, my mind and personality are becoming my greatest assets.
Has your relationship with yourself changed as you have gotten older? How?
I am way more aware of who I am. I forgive my mistakes and do the work when I see trauma taking control. I breathe when triggered and find solutions instead of running. I am present and take it all in. I think much of my life before 35 is a blur because I was in survival mode.
What are you passionate about now? Ie: career, volunteer work, hobbies, how you spend your time. Please describe and include any links that you would like to share. Alternatively, If you are challenged in some way and unable to do what you love/wish to do, please share.
I am passionate about my business House of Sapphire, and being a healthy present mother. I am passionate about breaking generational trauma and giving my children a better chance at success than I was given. I enjoy music, dancing, cooking, friends enjoying fancy dinners together and any reason to dress up! I am deeply in love with travel as well, however it seems like a far off dream as I focus on raising children and stabilizing a small business in what feels like an uncertain time.
Thank you for taking the time to share Sapphire!