What year were you born?
I was born in 1947, on a Wednesday, I think. I was the first child, born a little over a year after my parents were married, I think. My mother was in the hospital for about a week because that’s what they did then. She was 30, I think, and my father was 46. They had married after WW2.
What was your life like growing up? What dreams and goals did you have for your life when you left High School?
I grew up on a cattle ranch in eastern Oregon. It was very rural….we were almost the last house on the road. We rode a school bus an hour each way to school. In grade school, there were 2 kids in my class and in 3rd grade, I was skipped ahead to 4th grade, which meant moving my stuff from one row to the next row of desks!
I don’t really remember goals and dreams from my childhood. I was very involved in being a ranch kid and in 4-H. We had lots of cats and raised beef calves in 4-H. My social life was on the bus and at school, so not too many kids. We mostly went from 1st grade through high school with the same kids.
My parents were pretty adamant that we would be going to college as they had not had the opportunity, but I didn’t have a lot of confidence in my ability to do that and tried to weasel out of it. I ended up going to college and enjoyed it a lot. A social science class in my freshman year changed my whole world view to one very different (and more liberal) than my family.
College was kind of overwhelming in a way because I had never been around so many kids my own age. I really didn’t understand the social life and was pretty cautious, as I recall.
What is the one piece of advice would you give your younger self?
Be willing to make mistakes and go against the grain!
Name at least one outstanding experience you have had in your life. How did this or these events affect you?
I think the most outstanding experience of my life is meeting my partner Dave. I didn’t have much happy experience with men before then but he was someone I trusted from the beginning and we dealt with each other honestly and with a lot of loyalty. A feeling of confidence developed over that relationship that I’d never felt before.
Now, four years after his death, I feel pretty grounded and able to greet the world, which I think I learned from him. I’m very grateful for those years together.
How have your dreams and goals changed now that you are 40+?
More confident.
Less stressed since I don’t have to work anymore. I felt the responsibility of having to keep a good job so that Dave would have good health insurance.
Enjoying my relationships and taking some chances with them.
Trying to be generous and helping others as much as I can. Supporting others who may have lost a partner or loved one. I know that one can go on after that experience and I think I have helped others.
Have your core values changed over time? What do you value now?
Yes, quite a lot from when I was a child. My social and political values recognize and acknowledge people who are different from me. That was not how I was raised.
I value social justice and feminism.
Share an indulgence:
I eat terrible food sometimes….and buy a lot of fabric!
How do other people to describe you or see you?
People recognize that I have a lot of friends and mention that. I think they would say I am generous and optimistic.
What is your super power?
Not sure I have one! Dogs like me :)
Can you share what your favourite part of your body is? Why?
I like my hair. It started turning gray when I was in my 20s and I stopped dyeing it in my late 30s. I like that it’s been white since then! And that it’s curly…..and I have little ears :) And my skin is pretty good.
Don’t regret what you aren’t any longer….we are all at some point in a continuum of life, I think.
Do you like being 40+?
Yes, I enjoy the confidence I didn’t have when I was younger. So much easier in the world.
How has your relationship with yourself changed as you have gotten older?
I think so. I am more accepting of myself. I have given up thinking I’m ever really going to change my body and just try to make the best of what I’ve got!
What goals/ambitions/dreams would you like to be working on that you haven’t had the opportunity to start on yet?
Not sure I have big goals or dreams. I would like to travel more, ideally with a loving companion.
What advice would you give your future self?
Stay positive. Be open to whatever presents itself.
‘Make an effort.’
How do you think women of your generation are perceived?
That’s hard to say because I and most of the people I know enjoy women of my generation. I realized some years ago that I’m no longer in the dominant generation (as we were in the 60s and 70s) but that doesn’t bother me much.
Are there any myths you would like to bust about the over 40s? If so, can you tell us about them?
There are many good years and experiences as we get older. It’s wide open, really, as we have a lot of free time and the opportunity to explore ideas and places without the constraint of having to go to work. I am enjoying that freedom a lot.
What advice do you have to offer to those who are approaching mid life or those that are in mid life and perhaps struggling with it.
Don’t regret what you aren’t any longer….we are all at some point in a continuum of life, I think. There’s nothing to be gained from regretting that we are no longer young, but that we have so much to look forward to NOW and in the future. Be gentle with ourselves and avoid whining, if possible!
“Met Dave at 40. Proof that a good relationship can happen later in life.”
Do you have a favourite book to recommend?
Some books that really made an impact are “The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down” and “A Fine Balance.”
Do you have a favourite quote to share?
Not really….
Is there anything else you would like to add?
I am really interested in documenting this moment in my life. I think I have accepted the grief of losing my partner and am looking forward to happiness in the future.
Thank you for taking the time to share Marjorie!
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