What year were you born? Do you have anything to share about the event?

I was born in 1958 to a couple of kids in South Dakota. They were just 22, very serious about their education and careers and starting a family. My sister joined us three years later, and my brother four years after that.

My parents were smart, good people, close to family, and always meant well. We were poor, but so was everyone else. We always had a roof over our heads and enough to eat, though I know they sometimes counted how many meals were left before payday, and clothes were often hand-me-downs.

Name at least one outstanding experience you have had in your life. How did this or these events affect you?

In high school, I started planning my escape. I’d go to Oregon, where there was ocean, desert, and mountains - a new world to explore. South Dakota was a great place to grow up, but I always knew I wouldn’t stay.

At 18 I loaded everything I owned (which wasn’t much) into my VW bug. My cello filled the back seat & my bike was on the back, and I had $300 to my name, enough for a first month's rent in those days. I had a waitress job waiting for me in Gresham.

I drove across the state & when I hit the Columbia River Gorge, I was just so ecstatically happy, I was crying & had this overwhelming feeling that I was home. It was a big leap, a very big move to take: Leaving home for the first time, and moving more than 1000 miles away from everything that was familiar to me. Deep down, I knew it was the right thing to do. It continues to give me confidence to this day that I can make big changes and make good decisions.

When in your life, so far, have you felt most confident and why?

I remember feeling very confident physically in 1978, 1979. I was swimming all the time & in top shape, and SO happy to be in Oregon starting my own life.

Again in 1992 for the next few years, being pregnant & birthing my daughters was a very empowering experience. I loved everything about having babies and young children.

Now that my children are grown, I find myself embarking on an unknown adventure, once again, and I’m feeling confident, definitely up for it, and very fortunate to be physically able after undergoing some medical setbacks over the past couple of years.

How have your dreams and goals changed now that you are 40+?

Presently I’m focused on creating opportunities to spend time with my family. Last summer I learned to sail with my two daughters and my niece! And for the past two summers I’ve organized a family beach trip with my parents, siblings, kids & partners, as many as we could get. Everyone! It was such a rich and valuable time. So the thing I value most has come down to spending time with my family.

I still dream of doing more travel whenever that opportunity arises.

What is your superpower?

I am such a good parallel parker. I nail it EVERY time.

Do you like being 40+?

I like being 60+

How has your relationship with yourself changed as you have gotten older?

I’m more confident with myself and less concerned about what anyone else thinks. Doing things more for myself than anyone else.

I’m still working on the skill of asking for help. I’m afraid there will be more opportunities to get really good at it ;)

What goals/ambitions/dreams would you like to be working on that you haven’t had the opportunity to start on yet?

There are so many. Learning to knit. So many people in my family know how to knit! Sewing, making things, learning a new language, birds, plants, landscaping. Keep learning new stuff. Connecting with people. Being outside! Nothing big.

How do you think women of your generation are perceived?

I’m afraid we disappear a little bit from the eyes of the world. We have to take real steps forward and assert our (humanity, essence, reality) verbally or visually in order to be truly seen.

What advice do you have to offer to those who are approaching mid life or those that are in mid life and perhaps struggling with it.

Go To The Fucking Trouble!!! ( I’m thinking I should print T-shirts or bumper stickers with “GTTFT”)

Here’s my story in a nutshell: Three years ago, I wouldn’t have gone to the trouble to end my job or my marriage. It seemed like everything was ok, not stellar, but fine. Well, ok, I was a little bit miserable, but I thought I couldn’t afford to make big changes, or it would be too much trouble. I could just wait until I reached retirement age AND wait until my spouse died, then things would be better.

Now that both my job and my marriage have come to their respective ends, I feel like I’ve won the lottery! I’m so free to make my own decisions, able to enjoy being alone or with others, so free to be my very most authentic self and to discover just who she IS after all these years.

I did NOT go to the trouble, I was fortunate enough to have circumstances align in my favor without real action on my part, but now I know.

Just GTTFT ;)