What year were you born?
It was 1963 on a Friday
I was born in the wee hours of the morning on All Saints Day. My mom went into labor on Halloween and thought that I may be born on Halloween, but I hung in there a few more hours!
My mom always called me her little pumpkin.
I love that my Birthday is at this time. Halloween is my favorite Holiday. I have had many combined Birthday celebrations with Halloween.
What was your life like growing up? What dreams and goals did you have for your life when you left High School?
From Kindergarten through sixth grade,my mom had this school memory folder book. You would attach your photo from that year, write down your likes and dislikes and what you wanted to be when you grow up. And inside you could place a report card or school papers. For all those years and beyond, I would write that I wanted to own a ranch. I was enthralled with wide open spaces, horses and the idea of a life like that. This carried well into adulthood. I still have that dream of one day having a property to go to, for solitude and wellness.
I fumbled around a lot after High School. Taking a variety of community college and university classes and nothing clicked with me. I completed courses ranging from poetry to agriculture. Then one day my step mom said, ‘Why not go to Art School?’ and the proverbial light bulb went off. I moved to san Francisco and began Art School the next Fall.
The rest of my life has revolved around Art in some form or another.
What is the one piece of advice would you give your younger self?
That my wants/needs/ideas/voice are just as valuable as whoever I am around. Stick to them. Also change them if I want. But most of all treasure them and give them the attention they deserve.
I really lost my sense of self in many relationships and environments. I look back and see what I missed by not knowing how visionary some of my ideas were. I regret these times in my life as it feels like a betrayal to myself.
Was there a time in your life where you worked through being 'stuck' in a situation, unable to move forward or to make a big change? If so, would you be willing to share an example & what helped you get past that perceived road block?
There have been times in my life I have felt ‘stuck’. In my Artwork and writing, in relationships, in a situation that seems unwieldy. For me, the path out of this feeling of being stuck is realizing I am simply not listening to myself and heeding the call of my inner wisdom. My instinct is always active, in full force. That deep guttural feeling I have about things after I process the facts/scene/situation is a constant. But at times, such as when there are trauma triggers or depression, I go numb and/or suppress it, and that is when I can’t make up my mind, or move forward with something in a positive way. When I fully trust myself, I do not feel stuck. It is the way to my own freedom.
By the time I started my Camisole de Force Art Project, I had had the idea formulating in my head for at least two years. It was a series based on a straight jacket design, where each fabric straight jacket piece would represent a personal or societal issue of feeling constrained. I was so concerned about what others would think and was constantly second guessing the quality of the idea all together. This kept me from doing it for years! I ’knew' deep down inside it was a good idea and the right project for me. Could I show the work after I did it? Could I even tell my family about what I was working on? These and other questions kept me doubting. There was a point that my inner voice kept talking, practically yelling, and I knew that I needed to do it. I knew there would be consequences either way, if I did or didn’t create this series. It would be too dark, too weird, some people would not get it. I also new my gut wasn’t wrong. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I knew in order to move on with my art and feeling creative that I needed trust myself, my process, my ideas and to begin. I started with a very pleasant and mild version and slowly let myself get more and more comfortable with the idea coming to fruition. I was able to complete 12 of these jackets with poignant messages, and I feel very good about them.
And however long this whole process of becoming unstuck takes, the patience we have for ourselves and others going through a time like this, needs to be great and compassionate.
Name at least one outstanding experience you have had in your life. How did this or these events affect you?
I have had many. From events I have attended to people I have known.
For me, my Aunt Elsie was one of the most influential and outstanding humans in my younger life. My times with her made me feel most like truest myself. She was the most positive person you could have ever met. She accepted me, loved me, believed in me in every way. I never felt better than when I was in her presence. She had bright red hair and always a smile. Her profession was a body therapy/chiropractor to the stars of Hollywood.
When in your life, so far, have you felt most confident and why?
Today. It’s a process. I feel like I will get it fine tuned in another ten years. (Ha!)
How have your dreams and goals changed now that you are 40+
Most of my dreams and goals are inward now. Finding joy and peace are on the top of the list.
Have your core values changed over time? What do you value now?
Again, what I find the most valuable in my life is experiences, not things, and a sense of peace and contentment. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a minimalist! I do love objects, mostly for aesthetics. All things vintage are my jam.
How do other people describe you or see you?
This is a great challenge! Generous, thoughtful, creative would be words that come to mind. Those that know me more intimately have seen me overcoming great obstacles and may have a view of my strength and fortitude. The strength comes from allowing that vulnerability to be very present, especially in hard times.
What is your super power?
Creative thinking! Connecting people!
Can you share what your favourite part of your body is? Why?
Egads! Is this a real thing? Do people actually have a favorite? Hahahahaha.
I have been navigating a world in which society is constantly teaching us to hate our bodies, for 58 years now. It is a struggle to move past that. I am energized to see all the body positivity out in the media today, but we have so far to still go. And put on top of that an AGING body!
With all that said I would have to say I don’t have a ‘favorite’ part. I am learning to love it all.
Do you like being 40+?
YES! Yes. And yes.
I mean the antiquated message is true. ”If I knew then what I know now…” But with all that aside, I feel my very best right now in my mind, heart and body.
How has your relationship with yourself changed as you have gotten older?
I think and act more on what I really want out of life and focus on it. I have been successful about not letting too much get in the way of this path.
Future Aspirations
What goals/ambitions/dreams would you like to be working on that you haven’t had the opportunity to start on yet?
”I think I have started on everything I am wanting right now. Some goals are further developed than others, butI feel good about where I am going.”
What advice would you give your future self?
”Exercise more. This is always such a challenge. The trajectory is that my body and mind will age, and I want to take care of these dynamics as much as possible. I want a positive ‘older than’ experience.Keep many young friends around. And stay curious!!!!”
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Perceptions & Advice
How do you think women of your generation are perceived?
Geezus. Point Blank: We become invisible as we are no longer the world's fantasy. We are no longer deemed relevant. The irony is that we move into our best selves now. We have raised our children, mastered our careers, grown exponentially, persevered through all the crap the world dishes out on us, and become incredible humans.
Are there any myths you would like to bust about the over 40s? If so, can you tell us about them?
That we are on the downside of life. “It’s all downhill from here!” No, actually it's ALL down that same hill from the time you are born if that's how you are looking at it.
We all end up in the same way. And those that grow older are LUCKY! If we feel good physically, we are absolutely golden.
We all can be vessels of beauty or bitterness. I choose beauty.
The women I know over 40 yrs old are so magnificent. I am always in awe of their greying hair, wise faces, gracious fierceness and endless gratitude.
What advice do you have to offer to those who are approaching mid life or those that are in mid life and perhaps struggling with it.
Learn to consistently become your best self. Your kindness, love and light are more treasured than your unwrinkled skin.
Do you have a favourite book to recommend?
Right now it's ‘The diary of Frida Kahlo : an intimate self-portrait Book’ by Frida Kahlo.
Do you have a favourite quote to share?
Excerpt From a Mary Oliver PoemThe Summer Day:
‘I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?’
—Mary Oliver
Is there anything else you would like to add?
It is the time for the wisdom and beauty of those ‘older than’. Let us take up space in the world and be present. We are needed. We hold a vast well of knowledge, understanding and vital views we can bring to the world.
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