What year were you born?
I was born in 1973. It was a Tuesday.
What dreams and goals did you have for your life when you left High School?
I wanted to be a missionary, serve God and have a happy wonderful marriage. I grew up in a small wheat farming town, population 350, graduating class size of 3. I was really ready to move on from there and to find my people. I wanted to heal myself and figure out what was going on with my family of origin.
Name at least one outstanding experience you have had in your life. How did this or these events affect you?
In 1999 I almost died in a mountain trekking accident. I had a Near Death Experience while I was (almost) dead. This completely changed the course of my life -a shocking course correction, but ultimately brought me into the personal growth and transformation I needed. The ripples from these events, both physically and spiritually, are still resonating today. I highly value the experiences I had at the time and since then that are not yet explainable by science.
What is the one piece of advice would you give your younger self?
Treat yourself the way you want other people to treat you. Speak to yourself the way you wish others would speak to you. Comfort yourself the way you wish to be comforted. Love yourself the way you wish to be loved. Respect yourself. Honor your commitments to yourself. Show up for yourself. Be trustworthy to yourself. This is the most transformational thing you will ever do.
When in your life, so far, have you felt most confident and why?
By far NOW. I know myself so much better now. I have healed. I have sat with my darker emotions until they became my friends. I understand my skills and strengths so much better now because they have been tested. Most importantly, I trust myself and I love myself. I have come through difficult times I thought I wouldn’t survive, and instead, I have thrived.
How have your dreams and goals changed now that you are 40+
Earlier in life, my dreams and goals centered around pleasing my family and my community. Now I am committed to being true to myself, and bringing my true self into the world as fearlessly as possible. My dreams and goals feel more expansive and more exciting.
Have your core values changed over time? What do you value now?
Very much so. I was raised in a conservative Christian home. My values were to serve God and to serve others and to give up my own desires to do that. Reading my early journals from that time is painful because of the horrible way I blamed myself for everything that happened. It was not healthy. I know there are many healthy happy Christians out there who live wonderful lives and I celebrate that with them. It wasn’t my experience.
Now I value personal integrity and responsibility. Finding joy in small things. Kindness, creativity, community and fun. I value loving myself and others. I value raising my children to be true to themselves and true to others, with healthy boundaries.
How do other people to describe you or see you?
I recently asked my friends this question for help filling out my online dating profile. Some of the most common responses were fun, creative, brave, intuitive, organized, loving. My daughter said: “Patient, brave, won’t take shit if you try something.” A friend said something lovely: “You have an allure that is soft but brave, intellectual but fun.” Everyone should do this if they haven’t!!!
What is your super power?
My superpower is tenacity. I have never given up on myself, even though it has been a challenging and at times exhausting journey. My evil superpower is growing foul, poisonous mold species in the refrigerator. I have skills.
Can you share what your favourite part of your body is? Why?
I love my hair, thick, curly and lots of volume. I love my muscles and my strength. This has been so handy this year! I also love my height.
Do you like being 40+?
I love being 40+. It is by far the most confident and beautiful I have felt.
How has your relationship with yourself changed as you have gotten older?
I am more accepting of myself. I know myself better. I understand my motivations, I generally know what works for me and what doesn’t. Because of this understanding, I have compassion and patience for me. I have dedicated myself to loving myself and being there for ME. I have learned over time that people reflect back to me my relationship with myself. If I’m not there for me, then I attract people into my life who also aren’t there for me. And then I’m not able to be present for them either. Now I prioritize loving myself, which creates a cycle of love and positivity with others, instead of a negative spiral. I feel like I am expanding instead of folding into myself, and my community is as well.
Future Aspirations
- I want to build beautiful homes that combine natural elements, beauty, innovative technology and renewable materials in a new, earth friendly way. I would like to find an affordable way to bring nature more prominently into our homes.
- I want to find a way to help my fellow empaths and sensitive souls overcome abusive relationships (personal, work and community) and make progress in our culture with putting the responsibility of abuse back onto abusers and bullies instead of on victims/ recievers of abuse.
- I want to write and speak about learning to love myself and help empower those who feel overwhelmed and in despair find a path out of that space.
Perceptions & Advice
How do you think women of your generation are perceived?
Gen X.….it feels like we are invisible, just like our name indicates. As in algebra, X= the ultimate symbol of undefined. There is freedom in that. We define ourselves as individuals instead of having a strong generational definition projected onto us.
Are there any myths you would like to bust about the over 40s? If so, can you tell us about them?
That you are old and growing weaker. In reality, you are fully coming into your power and so much is working for you.
What advice do you have to offer to other women who are approaching mid life or those that are in mid life and perhaps struggling with it.
Trust yourself and trust the process you are in. All of the skills you have built up over time really start paying off for you in your 40’s, even the ones you have forgotten. You will come through mid life with so much clarity, and a better understanding of yourself if you stay with it. This IS a challenging process, because you have to make difficult decisions. You will not be destroyed if you choose that thing you have been longing to do. Let go of everything and everyone that keeps you bound up and small. Enjoy this! Powerhouse years!
Do you have a favourite inspirational quote?
“I am safe and divinely protected
I am held in love at all times
Love is what sets me free
I am married to my own soul
I am blessed, my courage gives birth to the divine.”
Meggan Watterson The Divine Feminine Oracle
Do you have a book that had an impact on you that you would like to share?
I’m reading Becoming Bulletproof by Evy Poumpouras. I think every woman would be helped by reading this book. How to manage and harness fear. How to survive and overcome difficult situations by facing the reality of the situation instead of pretending that things are better than they are. How to find meaning in traumatic experiences through helping others. How to develop a safety plan for your home and life.
Is there anything else you would like to share?
Thanks for showing me my true beauty. I feel empowered and alive with it. There are so many negative messages in our world. It feels amazing to have a space to allow the most beautiful parts of ourselves to shine. I am thankful for that and for you.
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