I Now Have Images That Remind Me That I Am Strong, I Am Capable

To have this gentle soul join my 40 Women Over 40 project is a true honour. I’m going to spill the beans right now. We became such good friends because of it. I am so lucky to have gotten to know her. And even more lucky to work with her. I can say without pause that it gives me a massive serotonin hit when I look at the complex, joyful, and strong yet quiet nature that came across in her images. This is her. This is who she is. Sigh. I am so proud of her for taking the leap and trusting me to create images that will last her lifetime and beyond.

Please read on to hear in M’s words how things went leading up to that day, the shoot itself and her feelings about her images…

“The 40 over 40 shoot couldn't have come at a better time - it was exactly what I was looking for for the space I am in right now. I wouldn't have done it sooner! I am thankful the opportunity presented itself at the right time. I also have been trying to support small local businesses, and after following Shawnalee for awhile on Instagram, I knew it would be a good, safe, comfortable and uplifting experience.”

“I would absofuckinglutely recommend this!!”

“At first, I was confident it was what I wanted to do. A day or two before the shoot, I was, like, "What the hell was I thinking!" Having committed, showing up was a given, and then showing up and just feeling no worries at all, everything was taken care of. It was just...easy...and fun! Afterward I felt confident, I enjoyed the experience and was looking forward to see what came of it. I felt like I was able to be my true self and that is what I was looking for. The reveal was awesome and then the anticipation of receiving the images and then actually getting them was pretty awesome too.”

“I refound my soul in some small, but important and lasting way.”

I feel like I now have documentation of this point in my life, and photographs that will be here long after I am gone. Hopefully bringing good memories to my son, my nieces and nephew of who I was. For myself, I have a images that remind me that I am strong, that I am capable, that I have retained that inner joy that life seems to try to beat out of you sometimes. I honestly look at them and think "it will be okay." It was an important shift for me from one point in my life to the next one.

When do you ever get to have the focus be squarely on you and what you want to present, how you want to present, yourself and then have a visual affirmation of that experience? When do you ever get a chance to see yourself from a different perspective and to be able to carry that with you. And to be in the company of a pretty remarkable photographer lady, who lights up rooms with her energy, confidence and charm, and changes peoples lives with her life work?? I gained a friend and I refound my soul in some small, but important and lasting way. I also felt special and honored to be a part of this project, it's not something I could have ever foretold.” ~M

I love that M took the time out just for her. An intentional time to honour where she is at, create heirloom photographs and to have a tonne of fun doing it!

The more women I work with in this age bracket, the more I firmly believe in the impact this experience has on them as well as their loved ones.

I know for many there is a certain fear or discomfort that rests in the idea of having portraits created just of themselves. It really is such foreign ground for many women. As a mother myself, I totally get it. We are usually the ones to have/take the photos of our families, our kids. Even photos of our pets often take up more wall space! And yet, isn’t it important to show our kids that we value ourselves? Wouldn’t this send the message that our kids have every right to value themselves? Not to mention the lasting gift of having stunning images of their mom long after she is gone? Sorry, but it’s true, we are not going to be around forever folks.

Lastly, for a woman who often isn't in photos, yes you! To have incredible photos up on your wall that you walk by every day reminding you of the badass that you are. There are days, let’s face it, when lounge wear and bed head can be the daily look (especially with our ‘paused’ lives, thank you very much Covid).

These shots are of you AT YOUR BEST. Intentionally composed, created to bring out that Vanity Fair level that exists in every single woman if given access to the right ‘tools': professional photographer (me), professional makeup & hair (my talented team) and an intentionally styled shoot that reflects your very soul. What are you waiting for? Ok, I’ll shut up now. but also, (just when you thought I was done) she did get a stunning collection that will be passed down from generation to generation. Okay, carry on. :)

If interested to learn more about my 40 Women Over 40 project that M participated in, go here

She Left Feeling Like a Goddess

“After seeing the images of myself I feel I have a little better glimpse into what others see in me. I can forgive more for not being where I want to be and more gentle with myself. The photos are powerful and fun and I feel that way more now too!”

“When I look at this image I see Strength, Confidence, Allure, Poise, Beauty, Power, Sex Appeal, a Badass.”

Running empowering photoshoots create opportunities to meet such amazingly resilient women. Miss J. is incredibly strong, generous and playful. Before her shoot however, was a woman who had a mistrust of the process.

I’m happy to report that I was able to create a positive experience for her! It all began with that first phone call. We discussed shoot details, the history & meaning behind her tattoos. She also shared how impersonal and rushed she had felt in a boudoir shoot she had a few years back. How disappointed she had been with her images. With this knowledge, I was a little nervous myself! This was a group shoot which meant I had less time to spend with each client.

On the day of her shoot I could detect some nerves but they soon faded. This woman was unbelievable. Brave to no end. Open and trusting. Read on to find out about how this shoot turned things around for her. -Can I just quickly say that I am sooooo happy right now?!…

 “I was very nervous leading up to the day because of past experience with a shoot like this. I was made comfortable with a phone interview with Shawnalee and meeting her in person. When I arrived I was greeted and set up in make up. The mood was up and the room was gorgeous. I sat down with Shawnalee and talked about outfits and set right to work. I walked in feeling not my best and not excited about my body and I left feeling like a goddess. As a photographer, Shawnalee is so easy to work with and she’s encouraging and empowering with her words!
I walked out feeling more confident and truly seen!”

"When I look at this image I see Strength, Confidence, Allure, Poise, Beauty, Power, Sex Appeal, a Badass, I see me for the first time in a very long time. I met with Shawnalee to look over my photos from, “The Story Behind Her Ink”, project and was overwhelmed by what I saw.
I loved my images! I saw in me, maybe what others see every day and I refuse to because of the walls I’ve built to “protect” myself from hurt and disappointment. Realizing the only thing that wall has done is keep me from myself." 

-Miss. J

“Our backs
tell stories
no books have
the spine to
carry.”

Rupi Kaur

How to Choose Wardrobe | Portland OR Boudoir Inspired & Tattoo Photographer

For me, it’s challenging enough to choose what I’m going to wear on any one given day! So I totally get the feeling of overwhelm and perhaps intimidation at the thought of choosing what to wear for a boudoir inspired photoshoot!

“So What Should I Wear for my shoot?!”

When it comes right down to it, I often say: “If it makes you feel amazing then it’s probably the right thing.” “So I could wear my Overalls?” You ask half joking. “Absolutely, yes. Overalls = Yes.“ (This is the moment when your head explodes) Confused, you then say: “But I thought this was a boudoir shoot!!” “Doesn’t that mean lingerie?” Well, no not necessarily.” I say. And our conversation goes on from there.

Lingerie is not a have to. At least not for my shoots. Which is why I like to use the terms: Modern Boudoir and Boudoir Inspired. If at all possible I wouldn’t use the word Boudoir. That said, I find it is an excellent umbrella term that everyone has heard of. There are many interpretations and possibilities. For my style, reserving some of the mystery is something I strive for. I prefer a more ‘implied’ approach. I believe in personal story. That’s where wardrobe plays a big part by reflecting who you truly are.

What you wear should speak to you in some way. Since no two people are alike, what you wear can and should be equally unique. Playing with layers, textures… comfy socks! Boots. Who doesn’t feel like they can accomplish anything in boots? If no boots, barefoot! What is your story? Who are you?

When we get together to design your shoot, I make sure we talk personal style and what inspires you. And, the designing doesn’t end at the meeting. We exchange inspiration and ideas leading right up to the shoot date. I am there along the way to make sure you feel totally confident in your choices. And yes, I have been known to shop for clients. In the end, I want you to identify with the person in the images. I want you to connect on a deep level with your portraits. So, from Overalls to Lingerie, it’s all possible. There is no one size fits all wardrobe style. It’s about story, it’s about you.

Light test with my lovely assistant.

Beautiful Words from Miss S.

“This picture brings me to tears.
This picture was taken 6 weeks ago, I wasn’t as thin as I am now, I was broken out, VERY nervous, very unsure.
But I see this picture and cry. Because I see something In this that I’ve never seen in my pictures.

This photo shoot was a pivotal moment for me.
I was selected with two other women, from many, to participate in this shoot to empower women with tattoos.
I was so nervous it almost led to panic. I have never been photographed this way. I have never 𝑺𝑬𝑬𝑵 𝑴𝒀𝑺𝑬𝑳𝑭 this way.”

“I am in tears as I write.
This picture, I don’t see shame. I don’t FEEL shame.
I see 𝑺𝑻𝑹𝑬𝑵𝑮𝑻𝑯.
I see 𝑪𝑶𝑼𝑹𝑨𝑮𝑬.
I see a 𝑺𝑼𝑹𝑽𝑰𝑽𝑶𝑹.

𝑰 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒂 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒄𝒌.
It was time for me to let go of the old me. Full of shame, regret, insecurities, and pursue the life I deserve. One that I love.
A life of 𝒂𝒃𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆, 𝒋𝒐𝒚, and 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒇𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆.
I wasnt my thinnest. I didn’t do my hair right. I didn’t have my nails done.
𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒊 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏𝒕 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒂 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆.”

“I almost backed out. I felt I wasn’t worthy. Felt I wasn’t attractive enough.
And after surviving sexual assault, I FELT ASHAMED OF SHOWING MY BODY.
I have always felt shame for my body. Being a big girl, it’s hard to dress the way I’d like to without ‘showing too much’. After the assault, I was BLAMED for how I looked in what I was wearing. A baggy t shirt and sweat shorts.
This day was MONUMENTAL In my self growth.
When the shoot started I could barely raise my head. By the end of the shoot, 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺.”

“It’s time for YOU to let go of the old you, and see yourself the way you deserve to be seen.”

-Miss S.