Both are true!
From all of the feedback I received, the 40 Women Over 40 event was a smashing hit. And yes, there was a moment when an uninvited guest attempted to crash our party. Luckily the women in this group live up to their badassery. Without hesitation, two women stepped in & intervened. Next, the doors to the wine bar were gently closed, and our event resumed. Phew!
Oh, did I mention I had come down with Covid about two weeks before the event was to launch? How fun is that? There I was in bed working through all the final details on my laptop. I’m both shocked and surprised it all came together because there were moments where I was more asleep experiencing fever dreams than awake. And when awake…I was operating at about 25% coherency. But like a good friend said: Hard things get done!
Despite my temporary setback, all of the preparations got knocked off the list. I was no longer contagious (thank f’ing god) 2 days before the event was to kick off, so hit the ground running to install and setup with the support of my ride or die friends. I literally have no idea what I would do without them. Such a great lesson and reminder that our community is key. It’s pretty much why I am alive to this day. Back to the event…. All that needed to get done, was done. And aside from some last minute chaos with catering, a massive spillage of fruit juice down my outfit (so me), it all came together.
As we were applying the finishing touches, guests began arriving. Thankfully, I had two spectacular volunteers (you know who you are) to check everyone in. And so it began. The participants and guests arrived and then entered the exhibit of all 40 portraits and their accompanying experts from their interviews on display for all to take in. It looked phenomenal if I do say so myself.
Approximately half way through the event, it was time for my key speakers to step up and share their wisdom and their stories. These are participants from within this cohort. I love how much knowledge and wisdom flows from this group!
My first speaker: E.B. Ferdig, a multi faceted health-life coach and body-positive yoga therapist. E.B. discussed the subject of health and women over forty. How important it is to be proactive and that we literally can change our bodies through proper diet, exercise. Seeking out as much information about menopause as possible is key.
Next up was my main guest speaker: Risa August from Colorado. A multi-award winning author, speaker, Gestalt practitioner, and patient advocate. Risa has been living with a pituitary tumor and rare disease for over a decade, and through it all, she has inspired audiences with her powerful insights on overcoming adversity and living life fully. It was a true honour to have her speak at my event. Sharing her perspective on the power of state of mind through her personal story telling.
Last and absolutely not least, was Krista Connerly who has spent 30 years as an artist and entrepreneur exploring embodiment and sensuality. What she brought that evening was a taste of her approach to fully embracing an experience. She called it ‘framing’. What she suggested was for participants to share with the audience, their personal experience as they went through this portrait and story project. A few stepped forward and, well, it was such a gift. To hear all of the positive stories. To stand there and listen to the impact this project has had was an incredible thing. I had chills running up and down my spine. I could do nothing but smile until my face ached and hug as much as possible. I’m still on a high because of it.
The following images are showing women taking part in the framing exercise.
I was the final speaker. Answering two questions: 1) Why was I doing this project and 2) What I hoped for the participants to gain. I can tell you right now, I have almost zero recollection of what I said in the moment so here is the ‘thought out’ version:
Why this project? It’s soooo close to my heart. I am over forty and share so many experiences with this group. I recognize that we often face negative experiences rooted in societal expectations, ageism, and gender bias. Many of us encounter age-related discrimination in the workplace, where we are passed over for promotions or seen as less adaptable or innovative compared to younger colleagues.
In personal life, we find ourselves grappling with the pressures of physical aging. No thanks to North American media and cultural standards that idealize youth and beauty. Additionally, we experience social invisibility. Our contributions and opinions sometimes overlooked or undervalued and lets not forget family demands!
I wish I was done. But there’s a tiny bit more: Let’s consider all of the above for a minute and then top it off with the additional layer of complexity due to the great mystery of hormonal changes! Can I just say: This stage of life is particularly multi-faceted and often far from ideal? As a result from all of these challenges it is not unheard of to feel beaten down, exhausted, frustrated, sad, mad, etc! This is my why.
What I hope for my participants to get out of this project? I want them to not listen to society’s negative messaging because it’s simply not true. Those who identify as women, non-binary, femme, trans in this age bracket, are beautiful. If not MORE beautiful because they have LIVED. The thing with beauty is that it is multi-dimensional. When I photograph someone who is over 40, the years of living and experiencing literally infuse a person’s facade. This rich complexity informs and creates the beauty that comes forward. THAT is what I endeavor to photograph. To capture this depth and for my subject to witness. This my friends, is what I hope for. And I often get it! LOL!
The written word is also an important component of this project. I am lucky enough to have experienced finding a journal left behind that my mom had written in when she was fighting cancer. This my friends, was priceless because when I read from that journal, I felt like she was speaking to me. Even though it was mainly about her processing the experience of battling cancer, I could literally hear her voice though her words.
Having this experience informed me about why the written word is so deeply powerful. Which is why it is a part of the project. Through a Q&A process, it is my hope that the responses, written by the participants, will be a valuable gift. Not only for their loved ones but also for themselves. The combination of both portraits and stories is meant to be a powerful reminder of who each and every participant is at the core.
After answering those two questions, it was decided that it was time for the grand give away to take place. We had some phenomenal donations:
Risa August donated her award winning book: The Road Unpaved: Border to Border with a Brain Tumor.
E.B. Ferdig: Gift certificate for six week health/life coaching.
Krista Connerly: A coaching offer for the entire entire group of attendees.
Tendue Event Space: Gift Certificate for their exquisite event space.
Michelle Gay: Gift Certificates for both in depth business coaching as well as an ongoing creative gathering series designed to help connect with oneself and others in a nurturing, creative space.
Lisa Madsen: Gift certificate for life coaching. Lisa is a Certified Life Coach and Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW).
The Candle Creation Bar: Gift certificate for a unique candle making experience.
Yours Truly (Shawnalee Studios) A gifted Photoshoot experience.
After all of the gift giving, it was time to do an activity. I had the participants come up and receive inspirational quotes that were type written on cards. I then asked them to find a portrait that the quote would be a good fit for and place it with the portrait. I think it was a hit! There was also the opportunity to write a self addressed love letter to oneself. A station set up with pens, stationary and envelopes. A couple of prompts and a mail box. Lot’s of letters were written that evening! In about 6 months time, I will be mailing them out. It’s going to be hard to wait that long!!
As the evening wound down, participants began carefully taking their portraits down. The prints were slid into envelopes and taken home. Slowly the walls became vacant. A sign that the event had come to it’s end. It is my hope that the prints will be proudly displayed and seen on a daily basis to remind each participant that they are badass, stunning, worthy, and deeply loved.
And so it continues. Yes! the rumour is true. I am now running the project annually. It is no longer dependant on a certain number of women. In fact I have been running the next cohort while finalizing this one! (That’s another story involving fracturing the cartilage in my knee) So, if this project calls to you or you know of someone who you think would benefit by joining in the fun. I encourage you to share this link/check it here: Women Over 40 Annual Portraits & Story
And that’s a wrap!
A special thank to Jack at Back Country Wine Tasting room for supplying the delicious bubbles. Back Country is a community space with a mission of promoting and providing fine wines of the Pacific Northwest.
“Life gets crazy and you stop doing things for yourself. This was the beginning of me reclaiming something that was mine that I forgot that I had and now I remember.”