Janeice Gaston is all smiles as she describes one of her proudest moments being the birth of her son Javion. “He's my pride and joy, my everything.” She considers this one of the happiest moments in her life. Her journey into motherhood is that she didn’t know she was pregnant until she was close to six months along. Initially, her mother pointed out she was sleeping more than usual, and her love of scrambled eggs increased so much so, that she prompted Gaston to go get a pregnancy test. She humored her mother and the results were so instant she didn't have to wait the two minutes! Her first visit to the doctor revealed she was much further along than she thought. Soon after that Gaston felt her baby boy moving. She was going to me a mom!
She is grateful that her whole family supported her through her delivery, even her Grandmother. Gaston knew it was not her grandmother’s first choice to watch a delivery, but she stayed. Gaston says, “That moment just makes me so happy, just thinking about how all my family was there to support me. Just to know they had my back.”
Presently, Gaston is a receptionist at an acupuncturist office, but strives to have her own business one day. Her daily feedback from the people she works with is extremely positive. They tell her that she “is such a delight and makes people feel better about their day.” This is obvious as I talk with Gaston, she is positive and bright.
Her job experiences have had some more difficult experiences as well however. She says as a black woman, she has had to be extra friendly and perky, so that the stereotype of being an ‘angry black woman’ isn’t pinned on her. “God forbid if I disagree with something. I'm just being labeled with, oh she's angry because she doesn't agree with this.” Gaston has felt it necessary to keep quiet instead of contributing to avoid disagreement turning back on her. Ironically, if she retreats to being quiet, she has been called in to a supervisor and asked why she isn’t being more friendly. The knowledge that this is part of the male dominated corporate world, as well as the experience of most black women in the workplace, is always on the forefront of her mind.
Gaston grew up in North Portland, which at the time was mainly a black neighborhood. She describes, “In my fifth grade year, we moved out to Southeast Portland, which was a whole different change for me. Now I'm the minority, not the majority. They kind of expected me, being an African-American, some people did the whole stereotype and thinking I'm just just a loud boisterous girl.” It wasn’t until seventh grade though, that she experienced a direct racist experience. She was walking home from school along 92nd Avenue with two classmates. It was a busy intersection and cars were lined up to turn, when suddenly she heard a racial slur.
“I'm looking around, like what was that? Who said that? And I heard it again accompanied with some snickering, so I look and see these two older white males in a car just laughing and calling us names.I was just so mad.” Gaston was so angry she blurted out, to the dismay of her friends, that the men should say that to their faces. The car did indeed turn around and Gaston and her friends ran all the way home. “I remember going to my mom and I was just in tears.”
Gaston recalls, “She just told me, ‘I'm so sorry baby that this happened but I gotta let you know that this is not gonna be the last time. Something like this is gonna happen again. There's just ignorant people out there and they just wanted to get a rise out of you.” As a seventh grader, Gaston questioned how this could still be happening. She feels it was a momentous event and a real eye opening experience.
“I hope it's just not a trend for the people who are doing it, for likes or wanting to go viral, because that's what a lot of people's goals are. No, this is a real issue and now everyone is having those uncomfortable conversations.”
The resurgence of the Black Lives Matter movement is on the forefront of all the news and our minds. Gaston is hopeful of the energy that is out on the streets right now, but also fearful that it could just be a trend for some. Her concern is that the momentum will get lost along the way, or that some are out claiming to be allies and will turn out not to be. We are already seeing this dynamic rear its ugly head, as we have seen happen before. She is glad that the eyes of the world are on us, watching what is happening in America. “I just hope that the message doesn't get buried.” Gaston adds, “I hope it's just not a trend for the people who are doing it, for likes or wanting to go viral, because that's what a lot of people's goals are. No, this is a real issue and now everyone is having those uncomfortable conversations.”
As an adult now, Gaston says she looks back and would have told her younger self not to conform to what others want, take care of yourself and “Instead of just fighting fire with fire, just be the wind. Let it go.”
Interview & story by Jennifer Randall
Editing: Calcio Rose
Photographs taken by Shawnalee Anderton
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